Are you a single mom who´s looking to find love, be cherished and adored by a man who´s ready to commit, but without you sacrificing your kids` health, safety and well-being?
In my article, Dating Tips for Single Moms – Finding a Man Who Will Commit to Me After Having Kids, I encouraged single moms to do a self-check evaluation before looking for love. You need to be fully healed from previous pains and drama, and that you´re certain that you´re really ready to fall in love again.
Dating for single moms is different to dating for single women without kids. You come as a package, you have more things to consider, and you have more rules to follow. That´s why it takes a man with balls to date you and to commit to you.
The good news is, that kind of man still exist, which means finding a man to love you and cherish you, in spite of having kids, is very much possible.
It´s important to remember that you don´t have to be desperate for love. Desperation will result to you overlooking the negative impact a particular choice can have on the welfare of the children.
Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
A happy mom makes happy kids. If you can find love that will make you completely happy, then it will also make your kids happy. A healthy, positive love relationship will also be great for your kids!
That said, there are some telltale signs that you should be watchful of in a man you date:
1. Time sharing issues.
If you have an established routine with your kids such as a movie night every Thursday, don´t just drop off the routine because you have a date.
The kids are looking forward to watching the movies and spending time with you. If you declare to your new love interest that Thursday nights are off limits, they should respect that.
- However, if you find that the person you’re dating displays total disregard for your quality time with your kids, maybe that’s not the person for you.
- In a healthy relationship, they will not only respect your wishes, but also support your desire to spend quality time with your children.
2. Disjointed activities
Many single moms decide to introduce the man they date to their children once they decide he´s the one. Guess what? According to Steve Harvey in his book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, “It´s too late.”
What if you´re already attached and have fallen in love with him only to find out he doesn´t like your kids and your kids don´t like him? While it´s not wise to introduce every man you get to know with to your children, you should introduce the man that you think is serious with you to your children early.
See how he reacts and navigate around your kids, how your kids feel toward him. Let him see you take care of your kids – feed fruits to a toddler and braid the hair of a five-year-old. “If you´re starting to wonder whether this guy is good for you, then you might as well see if he´s good for the kids”, says Harvey.
However, if you find that the person avoids family events and is only available for one-on-one time with you; things might not be going according to plan!
3. Unwillingness to adjust lifestyle.
A sincere man with the purest of intention knows that women with kids are a package deal and he´ll understand that you´re a mother with obligations. As a single mom, lots of things had to change where your lifestyle was concerned. As a man who will commit to a single mom, he should be ready to adjust his lifestyle as well.
- If you’re not getting that cooperation, then it’s likely you’ll have to end up choosing between your new relationship and the happiness of your kids!
4. Unwillingness to sacrifice personal wants.
If your partner resents the fact that you’re considering your children in decisions or plans, or if he makes you choose between you and your kids, you will certainly end up with a challenge on your hands. Stay away from situations that demand you sacrifice the care of your kids.
Want to learn how to get over that emotional baggage from failed relationships? Set yourself free from the fears of trusting men, falling in love and finding the one, read Real Women, Real Love .
Although it may seem impossible to find love again as a single mom with kids, it certainly is possible. It happened to many single moms, it can happen to you too. The key is to consider the happiness of your family as a whole. Not only will you find a new love, but you’ll also bring more happiness to the lives of your children!