You increase your value in his eyes if you know how to play hard to get with a guy.
The quickest way to lose in the dating game is by chasing him. Chase him and you´ll turn him off. But play hard to get and you´ll increase your value in his eyes.
Here´s the universal nature of men – if you chase him, he retreats, but if you stay, he´ll advance. This works both in dating and in marriage. According to John Gray of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, men are like rubber bands.
If they retreat, they act like a rubber band fully stretched, they´d retreat as much as they can. If you don´t chase him, he´ll bounce back like a rubber band bouncing back from stretch, as close as he can.
If he´s the one chasing you, you have the upper hand because the person who´s being chased is the one who has the most power.
If you want to get a man´s attention and make him pursue you, learn how to conquer love by playing hard to get.
But the question is how to play hard to get? Now, before we tackle this question, it´s important to note that playing hard to get doesn´t mean you´ll never give a hint.
Never giving a hint is seriously the worst advice my parents gave me. I grew up being told that if a man finds out that I´m attracted to him, he´ll look down on me. So even if I knew that a guy likes me and even if I like him too, I acted like I was never interested and kept my distance, believing that if I give him a clue, he´ll be turned off.
It explains why most of those admirers never took the step to express what they felt for me. I overly played hard to get.
It´s important that you give the guy a hint that you´re interested on him but never pursue him. Here are three ways you can play hard to get.
1. Never call him
If you have a chance to have a friendly conversation with him, flirt a little bit and give him your number so that he has a way to reach you. But don´t call him. Calling men is a mistake many women are guilty of and it´s a behaviour that actually causes many failed (to-be) relationships.
The moment you feel comfortable with him, and especially if you have the idea that he likes you too and is excited to know more about you, you start calling him endlessly. This turns him off because it shows that you´re not the hard-to-get girl who he thought you were. It kills the excitement.
Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
Although you want to give him the chance to make the call first, you are very much into him that you can´t help but dial his number if you´ve already waited for a day or two and he still didn´t call you like he said he will. But what you don´t know is the impression that you make on him and the thoughts that he has about you.
***If you want to know the secrets on how to play hard to get, find out why you shouldn´t call or email the men you date.***
2. Don´t email him
If you think it´s a good idea to email him first, you´re wrong, unless otherwise you´ve found him in the dating site for the first time and you´d like to introduce yourself. But if you´re already on the getting to know each other stage, stop the urge to email him endlessly. It works the same way as calling him.
Wait that he emails you first, or wait that he responds to your last email before you email him again. Also, even if you´re overjoyed, jumping up and down the moment you see his new email in your inbox, don´t panic to respond it immediately. It will show that you´re so eager.
Wait several hours or a day before you return his message. This shows him that you have your world exactly in place whether he emails you or not. You´re not dying for his email.
3. Don´t text him
Texting him all the time, always checking out on him, and always sending him sweet nothing messages convey that you´re always thinking of him and that you´re so into him. These actions become even bigger turn offs if you do them in time when men pull away during the early stages of dating.
These ways of pursuing men are hard to resist because they´re easy and quick to do, yet the damage they´ll cause is detrimental to your success in love.
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4. Don´t send him gifts.
It´s very embarrassing but I confess that I made this hideous mistake when I was still dating — sending him gifts. I´d save money to be able to buy a really gorgeous shirt and send him as a birthday gift. I was thinking that unlike other women who ask for material things from their men, I´m a financially independent woman who could afford to be the one giving gifts.
What a loser! After I sent him that very fancy gift which took me a couple of months to save, he stopped contacting me. I didn´t understand why at first, but later I figured that it turned him off because giving him gifts came off as trying to bribe his attention.
5. Do Less
In order to play hard to get and be that illusive girl that he´s attracted to, simply do less and don´t do more. This sums up all the tips we have discussed above — don´t call him first, lessen the frequency of your calls, emails and text messages, don´t shower him with gifts, and don´t pursue him in any way.
He´ll be happy to do the chasing if you effectively play hard to get.