Should I tell you not to search for a possible life partner in social networking sites if I found mine in Friendster?
Some relationship gurus preach that social networking sites such as Facebook isn´t an online dating site, thus not a place to look for a potential date.
But guess what? I actually met my husband in Friendster, the famous social site after My Space and before Facebook.
Now I´m not saying that you should start hunting for Mr. Right in Facebook, Twitter, or even Tumbler. What I´m saying is that you can find Mr. Right anywhere even in the most awkward situation or the most impossible place, in times when you least expect it. So here´s my story.
Just Looking for a Rebound
It was the first week of December 2009. I and my short-term German boyfriend just broke up and he was soon to be married to the woman he initially left to pursue me.
I was angry and hurting. I wanted a rebound.
I thought that the best way to keep my mind off him (which was difficult to do since we were colleagues and we often bumped shoulders several times a day) was to find a new love interest.
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I was sitting in front of my office computer rushing a deadline when something suddenly hit me! I logged into my Friendster account, went to “search people” and typed in – Location: Germany, Male, Age: 27-32.
I was twenty-five during that time so I narrowed my search to ages closer to mine. And since I was looking for a rebound, I thought of looking for another German guy.
Oh please, don´t you ever think that I´ve a thing for German hotdogs, nope!
Before my German ex, I was sold to the false stereotype of their people. I didn´t want to do anything with Germans because they´re all Nazis, right?
Yeah, I know. It´s lame and being misinformed. But that was then. And yet the irony!
Finding the Right Guy?
With just a few clicks of the mouse, lots of profiles showed up. I quickly scanned through the thumbnails judging each of them by their looks and age.
Then there was one thumbnail photo that really stood out. The guy was in a basketball court, dribbling a ball for what looked like a professional basketball match. I clicked his profile so I could see more of him. His profile happened to be public!
He looks like a Filipino who grew up in Germany. That´s a plus given that I too am a Filipino. There would be a smaller culture gap between us.
Reading through his profile I learned that he grew up in Germany. He´s very good-looking, masculine, and sporty. He´s a basketball player! He just turned thirty. I was interested.
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I shot him an email right away! In my mail I said, “Hi! I´m Glee. I can see you´re a good-looking, well-built man with VERY strong sex appeal. I like that. Let´s be friends.”
Now let me tell you this. My message was bold, flirty, and right to the point. I normally wouldn´t introduce myself that way.
If I was serious to get to know a guy, my tone was always serious and classy. I would have said that I´m a high school Maths teacher and debate trainer. I´m this and that, and that I´m an achiever.
In short, I always tried to sell myself to men by impressing them with my academic and career achievements. Well this time around, I didn´t plan to impress.
I sent that message and forgot about it the moment I turned off the computer.
The Joke Turned Serious
I opened my Friendster account the next day and was surprised to receive a response from the Filipino-German guy. He thanked me for the message and for my kind comments regarding his physique. He confirmed that he´s indeed a Filipino who moved to Germany when he was eight, and that he´s not fluent in English and no longer able to speak Filipino. He hired his mom´s help for that response message.
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I wasn´t impressed. He hired his mom´s help? He isn´t good in English? Well, sounds like the total opposite of my Mr. Right. I don´t like a mama´s boy (another wrong impression!) and the more that I don´t look to date a guy who couldn´t communicate well in English.
I sent him a “thank you” message for replying to my email and that was it. Even if he still wrote back, I decided to discontinue our communication.
When I Thought It´s Over, It Wasn´t
It was close to Christmas Holidays, exams and grades were being wrapped up, but my heart was still bleeding.
In a week, my ex boyfriend, whose classroom was next to mine, would fly to Germany with his fiancée for their wedding. Have I mentioned that we officially broke up two weeks earlier? Oh, it was a total mess.
Finally, Christmas vacation arrived. I opted to stay in the city. I retreated from humanity by staying in my apartment room the entire holiday.
Then one day I logged in to Friendster and saw this shining message from the Filipino-German guy. He was saying “Hi.” and “Merry Christmas”. He was also wishing me well.
I was like, seriously? This guy would still email me after I didn´t return his email for ten days?
It all started there. We emailed back and forth. Then we started chatting via Yahoo Messenger. It was weird seeing each other over the camera for the first time. He then proceeded calling me on the phone which quickly became like every night?
I was honest with him though. He knew from the very beginning that I was broken-hearted and was still hurting. He knew too that I wasn´t ready for another relationship. But he assured me that he´s ready to wait and that he would help me forget.
He showered me with gifts, chocolates, and flowers. He gave me all the attention and love I would need to recover from pain. Who wouldn´t fall for such a man?
And the rest was history. This Filipino-German guy eventually became my husband. He visited me in Bangkok, Thailand, twice a year for two years. We married exactly two years since we met in Friendster.
Now, am I in the position to tell you not to search for a possible life partner in social networking sites?