We hear a lot of dating tips from our married friends and we also read a lot of tips from many self-confessed dating and relationship gurus. Although many of those gurus learned from experience, not all strategies thrown to us actually work for our advantage. Usually we have to use our wits to identify if the tips we learned are applicable to us and to our unique situation. But surely there are general rules out there that we could use as basic dating 101s.
If you want to know the type of man you´re dating and how to make him commit, you should read Ray Lemon´s, The 4 Types Of Men And How To Make Each One Commit.
If you´re like me who trust the dating advice given by specialists and psychologists, here are what PhD Bethany Marshall, a Los Angeles-based psychotherapists and the author of “Deal Breakers,” got to say about dating.
1. Encourage Him to Pursue You
Even Taylor Swift subscribes to the dating rule, playing hard to get. She advises, “Freeze-out: You don’t respond to any of his texts or calls until he does something desperate [like] shows up. Or he calls and leaves a voice mail. Something that makes it very clear to you that he’s interested.”
Well, Dr. Marshall warns that there´s a difference between letting a man pursue you and cutting him off completely. Freezing out and not giving a hint if you too are interested until he becomes desperate will make the man insecure and clingy. But worst, many men would take it as being uninterested and move on.
The key is balance. You want to let him pursue you by playing hard to get but you also want to encourage him to pursue you by giving hints that you´re interested by flirting.
2. Don´t Rely Solely on Sparks
“Physical attraction is important, but that’s only one aspect of falling in love; in fact, that’s the easiest part of falling in love. If you rely only on sparks, that’s all you’ll get. It’s also a lot to expect in the beginning when you barely know the person.” Says Dr. Marshall.
Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
Many a true love didn´t start off with sparks and magic, or love at first sight. In fact, the man I married wasn´t exactly the guy I thought was my perfect guy. But sometimes you have to give him a chance even if you didn´t faint when he gave you that flashy smile.
3. Don´t Chase a Guy.
Dr. Marshall agree to Smith when she said “I never chase boys. They don’t like it!”
Indeed, men have a biological drive to pursue women in the beginning of the relationship — making the first call, setting up the date.
4. Screen Men on First Date
Many women tend to get attracted to men who seem mysterious and unavailable. But being mysterious or unavailable are masks that could mean he´s selfish. the beginning of a relationship is a time to learn about the man. “He’ll give you valuable information about himself on the first date; women just need to pay attention.”
5. Who Wears the Pants?
In the beginning of a relationship, men should be demonstrating their ability to provide and care for a woman. If he can’t, he’ll be a passive partner, which isn’t fulfilling.” Says Marshall.
Do you want to know what goes on in a man´s mind? How to Read a Man .
6. Don´t Be Jealous
Do you easily get jealous? Does the guy provokes you to feel jealous? “Jealousy usually arises if a person is naturally insecure or if her partner is intentionally trying to provoke her. In a good relationship, one should feel that they are number one, without being the only one in their partner’s life.”
7. Be Independent
“Men fall in love with women who have their own lives. That autonomy is attractive.” Make sure to never let your world evolve around the guy. Include him in your life but never make him your life! Know who you are and be independent.