Are you in an unhealthy relationship? How do you spot the signs of a bad relationship?
More likely than not, if you are in a bad relationship, you already have the gut feeling that you are in one. The problem is …
“It can be very hard to end a love relationship, even when you know it is bad for you.” ~ Howard M. Halpern, How to Break Your Addiction to a Person
I will be writing more articles to help you end a bad relationship, but this one is written to help you identify the signs of a bad relationship and to confirm if indeed you are in one.
1. The relationship is dead end.
The relationship is dead end if it does not lead anywhere. It does not progress. It feels as if you reached the end of the road and there´s no way to go but back.
For example, you may be in a relationship with a man for five years but you aren´t seeing signs that he will propose anytime soon, or he may have told you in several occasions that marriage is not in his vocabulary. So what gives?
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2. You are attached to a person who is unattainable.
A man who is unattainable does not value intimacy with you as much as you do. He is unable to open up to you. He is unable to show affection to you.
When you become attached to a person who does not care about you, you become addicted and you make yourself believe your self-made lies (he´s scared, he´s confused, he needs time, etc.).
3. The relationship is mismatched.
I once had an affair with a man with a girlfriend. In fact, he was engaged. I fell for him after he persistently pursued me. I accepted his love after he broke his engagement with his girlfriend. I asked him why he was doing it? Why was he risking everything? He said because his relationship with her was a mismatch. He´s highly intellectual (yes girl, he really is brainy) while his girlfriend was only interested with makeup.
He found me to be an intellectual match. But not only that, he also admired my daredevil, adventurous spirit. He loved outdoor adventures like I do, something he couldn´t share with his girlfriend whose only worry was that she´ll mess her hair.
You see, a relationship is mismatched if two partners are on different wavelengths with no common ground. It is also a mismatch if there´s little communication between the two, and if there´s little enjoyment of each other or with each other.
4. The relationship lacks what one or both partners need and want.
If one or both partners need love, tenderness, sexuality or stimulation, honesty or respect, or emotional support and yet the relationship is unable to meet it.
For example, at a Q&A in one TV show the question being discussed on the table was sexless marriage. The woman who asked the question over the phone was in her early thirties. She had a problem with her husband who`s always not into having sex with her. They barely had sex in a year. She enjoys doing it but whatever attempts she have tried to seduce her husband were all declined. Her husband believes that sex is only for procreation. They`ve already procreated so that`s it.
If the couple won´t be able to discuss and find solution to the problem, the wife will eventually feel bitter and resentful towards her husband (if she wasn´t already).
5. The relationship is a wasteland of emptiness, distance, loneliness and deprivation.
The loneliest place in the world to be is in a bad relationship.
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6. The relationship is a battleground of hatred, rage and abuse.
If your relationship is abusive – physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally, and all you feel (and get out of it) is hatred or rage, then this relationship is totally bad for you.
There is no greater personal tragedy than remaining in a bad relationship. The only way for you to find a healthy, satisfying relationship is to let go of an irreparably unsatisfying one and move on.