If you´ve been jumping from one failed relationship to the next, and it´s the men who always leave you, it´s time to self-evaluate.
“I have dated three different men and each one of them left me to go and get married to another lady, the last one is in a serious relationship with another lady but still hiding it from me. What should I do?” ~ Hope
Since you´ve been through successive failed relationships, the best thing for you to do right now is to give dating a pause, self-evaluate and work on improving yourself.
Why did all three men leave you and went on to marry another or the next lady?
Could it be that you dated all the wrong men? Or could it be that you were “too nice”?
You are “too nice” if you allowed yourself to become a doormat in your relationships. Like a real doormat, you allowed men to walk all over you and you were totally fine with it. You tolerate disrespect, even dishonesty and cheating. You allow people to use you, take you for granted or treat you like a dogsbody.
You don´t think for yourself or what´s best for you.
Being “too nice” you bend forward and backward to please the man. Your whole world evolves around him, and you may also be dependent on him. You are unable to hold your own in your relationship.
But men don´t value “doormat” women, that´s why they take these women for granted, discard them when they´re bored and go on to marry the next woman whom they find as “the woman with value”.
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The problem with being a doormat is it ruins your self-esteem and self confidence. And the more that it happens to you, the more that you feel smaller.
So here are the things you need to do:
1. Give dating a break.
Don´t get into another relationship until you´ve worked on improving your self-esteem and self-confidence. (This last guy who´s hiding his relationship with another woman from you? Let him go.)
Men won´t value you unless you value yourself. And you won´t be able to do that unless you have a healthy self-esteem.
My eCourse, “Improve Your Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence” will help you do just that. It´s a ten weeks eCourse which is built to gradually but surely guide you in identifying what your problems are and how you can fix them. It will help you dial up your self-worth.
This step is important because the BIG change has to start in YOU. Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you feel that you need to be treated with respect?
- Do you feel worthy of love and respect?
- Do you feel good about yourself?
If you answered “No” to any of these questions, then it´s time for you to work on improving your self-worth.
2. Teach men how to treat you.
“You teach people how to treat you“. ~ Dr. Phil
You teach men how to treat you. You teach men to value you.
How you react to other people´s actions teaches them what is and what´s not acceptable to you. If you send men the message that you´re okay with how poorly they treat you, then they will keep doing what works for them.
Show them that you place a high value on yourself and they will see you as the type of woman that men want to marry.
Learn how to be a bitch in a relationship because men love and marry bitches.
This bitch, however, isn´t the rude, cat-fighty type. In fact she`s kind, caring and feminine but strong. She knows how to hold her own in a relationship. She isn´t insecure about who she is and therefore she isn´t needy. As a result, she is able to keep that mental challenge.
3. Learn how to keep the mental challenge.
Men are interested in a woman who has a bit of an edge to her. They call that a mental challenge.
A woman with an edge doesn´t allow herself to be a doormat. She doesn´t give everything until she´s depleted, and that´s why she´s never whiny. She doesn´t say “yes” all the time. And her whole world doesn´t revolve around a man.
You need to keep that mental challenge until he is deeply in love with you and marries you. But it doesn´t stop there. After marriage, you still need to maintain that mental challenge in order for him not to take you for granted.
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Remember, success in relationship isn´t about looks or anything else, it´s about attitude.