Early in a relationship many women aren´t sure if they´re in an abusive relationship or not. In most cases, the victim isn´t able to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship until her self-esteem is totally eroded or not until she is physically abused.
Staying with an abusive man is dangerous because it can entirely destroy you as a person. And the longer you feel stuck in this destructive relationship, the more difficult it is to break free. That´s why it´s important to be able to identify if the guy you´re dating or the man you´re in a relationship with is a psychopath, a narcissists or a toxic person.
If you´re a victim of an abusive person, you will find help from Peace´s Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People. This book is written to guide those who are feeling pain and confusion of a devastating abusive relationship.
Although abusive people can be a man or a woman, the aim of this post is to help women so we´ll focus on abusive men. The number one tool that an abusive man uses for an abusive relationship is isolation.
5 Ways an Abusive Man will Isolate You
1. Shut down the phone. He doesn´t trust the people you´re calling or those who are calling you so he´ll cut your landline so nobody could contact you. He´ll also confiscate your mobile phone. He suspects that you´re cheating on him with whoever you´re texting or communicating with so in order to protect your relationship, according to him, he´ll forbide you to speak to anyone through a phone.
2. Turn off the computer. He doesn´t want you to email your friends and family, connect with people on facebook and twitter, or chat with friends online so he´ll turn off the computer if not cut your internet connection. If he doesn´t turn off the compter entirely, he´ll monitor your every online activity.
3. Control the money. Whether you´re working or you rely on his income for survival, an abusive man will find a way to control the money. Having you totally financially dependent on him gives him all the power to manipulate and control you. You´re not able to make any purchases, go anywhere you want, or do whatever you need without asking his permision and approval because yeah, you need him to give you the cash. He doesn´t give you access to the bak account. And in most cases, he´ll stop you from getting a job.
4. Keep car keys. In order to make sure you´re not going anywhere without him knowing it, he´ll keep the car keys away from you. This is just to make sure that next time he´ll have a blow and throw tantrums on you, you´re not able to run away with the car.
5. Try to get you away from family and friends. He doesn´t let you attend your friends´parties. Every time you get an invitation for a get together and you ask him if you could go, he´ll say “NO.” Slowly, your friends stopped inviting you. He doesn´t allow you to visit or call your parents and family as often as you should. He keeps you away from them. This would lead to a cold and distant relationship with your family and friends.
An abusive man uses isolation as the number one tool to abuse you so he could make you believe that you´re alone, nobody loves you and nobody´s going to help you. The moment you feel helpless, the more power he has over you. And because nobody cares enough to help you out of this destructive relationship, as he made you believe, you´re going to put up with every abuse this toxic person inflicts on you.
But remember, none of these are true. Everything he tells you are lies. Your family and friends do love you and they´re willing to help you out of this painful situation. You only need to approach them and ask for help.
If you or someone you know is being abused, check out Robin McGraw´s site, When Georgia Smiled, for resources and help guides.
photo credit: Ed Yourdon via photopin
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