Check your dating skills and see if you got your goal for first dates right.
If I´m to be honest, I hadn´t been to a lot of first dates. I always lost him at hello.
My dating skills were mostly not learned from experience, but from reading. Thankfully, I learned the right skills just on time so that when Mr. Right arrived, I got it right on our first date.
Rachel Greenwald, author of the book have him at hello, asked what is the goal of first date? Novice me gave the wrong answer. (I met her book during my two-year-deep-research on the science and art of love when I was still forever single.)
I suggest you try her little multiple choice too.
What´s the goal of a first date?
A. To allow a man to discover the real you, or
B. To get him to want a second date with you.
My answer was A. Of course, if a guy wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he should accept you for the real you, right?
So did you answer A or B?
Rachel didn´t agree with me, though. Too many first dates and not a lot of second dates, that´s the common dilemna for many single women today.
The very first date I had was never followed with a second or third date. I remember asking myself “why”?
I lost him on first date because I failed to understand the right goal of a first date.
Think about it, you can´t make a man know the real you within the first date. No one can accurately assess a person on a first date no matter how strong they think their instincts are.
How many times have you judged someone based on first impression only to find out later after spending more time with that person that you made the wrong first impression?
The saying that first impression lasts is in reality, mostly false. But with first dates, it usually is true.
Men filter you in first date. He makes a first impression of you and then decides whether to take you to a second date or not. If he gets the wrong first impression and decides not to call you back, then he´ll never find out the lovable, wonderful person in you.
It´s his loss, you may think. But admit it, it´s your loss too. What if he´ll make a great partner for you had he got to get to know you?
If he gathered on your first date that you´re a dog freak and you care for nothing else but your dog, then he´ll never find out that you´re a nurturing individual who loves kids and who would love to share your life with him too.
So you see, it´s all about making the right impression on first date because the goal is to get him to take you for a second date. Then to a third, then to more dates.
This isn´t about faking it on first dates. This is about buying more time to give him chance to get to know the real you and to accept the entire package — both the strengths and the weaknesses. Unless you´ll get him to take you to a second date, he´ll never find out how gorgeous you truly are.
The reality is, it´s easier to get a first date than a second date. But as a modern single woman, you want to play the game in your favor.
Imagine yourself being offered many second and third dates and you have the chance to accept or reject? You´ll be able to filter men and choose the best one. How will that make you feel?
You´ll have more options and more chance of finding your soulmate. How different would the case be if you´re rarely offered a second date?
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Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
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Fist date is akin to finding a job. The first job interview is about making the right impression. The more job interviews you went to and the more job offers you receive, the better is your position in choosing the most suitable job for you.
Action Task!
So now your task is to change your perspective. The next time a potential guy takes you to a first date, remember that your goal is to get him to take you to a second date. Make sure to make your most positive impression.
