Question:
How do you truly know it’s real? When do you know that you should be making an effort?
Answer:
When it comes to dating, you generally won´t truly get to know a person unless you´ve dated him for at least six to eight months, or even a year! That´s if you´re dating offline. Online dating is a different story; people can behave differently on the screen or on the phone.
How do you know if it´s real?
Steve Jobs has long answered this question:
“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”
You´ll know it´s real once you´ve found it.
If you doubt it, it probably isn´t.
There are two articles I´ve written in this blog that I´d like you to read:
How Do You Know When a Man Wants a Relationship – this is a checklist to help you identify if the guy is seriously pursuing you or simply playing games with you.
How to Become More Attractive In His Eyes – this is a checklist for yourself to help you know if the guy sees you as a price. If how you conduct yourself makes him believe that you´re a price, then he will seriously pursue you for real.
I also recommend you read one of my favorite relationship books, Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships. This will help you make healthy choices for a Godly dating that will lead you to finding success in love.
If confusion still persists, bring it to prayer. God will show you the signs you need to be certain if what you have is real or not.
When do you know that you should be making an effort?
Men don´t expect women to exert effort in the early part of dating. If she´s ready to bend over backward and eager to please him from day 1, he will see her as desperate and this will reduce her value in his eyes.
This is part of men´s “mental challenge” game. The more work they need to get something, the more that they´ll value it, and pursue it.
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Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
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You don´t need to spend whole day refining your man-catching skills. All you need to focus in the beginning of dating, or of relationship is on being good company. This is more than enough until he earns the high place.
And that´s it, you will start to make effort once you´re sure that he earns it.
