When you´re attracted to someone, it´s only normal to want to know how to get a guy to like you. But although there is no perfect recipe, there´s a method that usually works.
I still remember the volts of electricity that hit me when the guy I liked walked into the room. The place felt tinier, I became self-conscious, and try as I might I couldn´t keep the corner of my eyes from watching his every move.
It felt like I was in cloud nine when I was sitted beside him, especially when he talked to me. But when it comes to getting him to like me, I often failed. The reason was simple …
I didn´t know how to send the message that I was interested. My game approach was playing an ice queen. I could care less. I´m out of reach. It was a deep-seated teaching from my parents.
In fact, this is a popular piece of dating advice that women are often subjected to … to appear uninterested, to use the extreme hard to get approach.
But playing uninterested will take you off his radar entirely because men are afraid of rejection. He won´t pursue you if he thinks that the goal is unattainable.
So before you set to find out how to get a guy to like you, make sure that you´re able to send him the signal that you´re interested. Exchange a look with him. Smile. Be friendly with him without being overly flirty.
1. When it comes to your looks, do your best.
I´ve said it many times on this blog, when it comes to getting him to like you, looks matter. Men are visual creatures who wouldn´t get to notice you unless they´re enamored by your looks.
But there´s good news! Looks isn´t everything. If it is, then there shouldn´t be plenty of overly gorgeous celebrities who are single and unlucky in love. And if looks is everything, then there shouldn´t be any (if not plenty of) average-looking ladies, or even below average, that are happily married.
Men have different beauty ideals in their head. Some are into blondes; some are into brunettes, while some are leg guys. My husband was into my well-shaped perky derriere and great pair of legs. He fell in love with me despite my crooked and open bite teeth (I´ve since had them corrected through adult dental braces, four years after we got married).
You have to do your best with what you have in order to look good. Dress well, exercise, put on some natural-looking makeup, and wear high heels when necessary.
Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
As long as you do your best, you need not worry if you´re beautiful enough or not. Remember that you are beautiful. It only takes the right pair of eyes to see it.
2. Increase your perceived value.
Your looks will get attention, but it´s your attitude that will make a man fall in love with you.
Many beautiful women rely on their beauty to attract men. But because they´re used to getting lots of attention through their looks, they haven´t developed their other skills that should keep a man around.
Relationship expert Matthew Hussey described this phenomenon in his book, Get the Guy, as akin to seeing a bright shiny Ferrari only to find out it has a V4 engine. Often men complain at their disappointment in meeting a good-looking woman with a disappointing personality.
So more than your looks, you need to have the set of attitude to keep him interested and willing to get to know you more.
Men long for a partner who is confident, sexy, playful, independent, nurturing, sweet, caring, warm and feisty.
3. Establish a perceived challenge.
What´s the kind of attitude that will get a guy to like you after he noticed you? By being a challenge to him.
The most common arena where the challenge is played on is sex.
If she´s a high value woman and one of her standards is no sex on first date, no sex in the first 90 days, or no sex before marriage, she is going to stick to that standard.
Men will appreciate the things they have to work for, and put less value on things they were given for free.
But be careful not to use sex as the only challenge or the guy will work hard to get it, and after getting it he´ll lose interest.
You come off as NOT a challenge if you are overly flirtatious to a guy even before he has shown interest, or if you make it obvious that he can have you no matter how he treats you. If a guy feels that you shower him with attention, despite him not earning it, and that you are easily impressed with whatever he says, it kills the challenge.
4. Seal your perceived value.
More than just being a challenge, a man will commit to you if he realizes that you are a unique high-valued woman. His life will never be same; being with you is so much better than being single or than being with a hundred women.
That doesn´t mean you´ll go ahead and cook an elaborate meal on your first date, bake cookies for his friends and his entire family, or do his laundry every weekend.
Do you want to know how to attract the right man? Check out this personality quiz.
A high value woman is someone who has a life of her own of which a man wants to be a part of. She has her own passions, she derives her self-esteem internally and doesn´t rely it on validations from men. She thinks and acts independently. She is happy alone, with or without him. Her world does not revolve around him.
5. You have connection with him.
You will instantly know if you have connection with someone the moment you converse with him. If the conversation is fun and engaging, if it makes you interested in his life, his values and standards, and he to yours, then you have connection.
Connection is not something you can force or forge. All you have to do is be yourself and your happy best self. If you think there is a connection between the two of you, then go ahead and focus on the first four tips above on how to get a guy to like you.