Learning how to get a man to commit is the same as learning how to set your standards nicely and clearly.
Before we answer the question, how to get a man to commit, you first need to identify the type of commitment that you want from him.
Do you want him to commit to a monogamous relationship? Do you want him to live with you under the same house and be a father to your kids, or do you want him to commit to a marriage with you?
Comedian turned relationship expert Steve Harvey told a story of a single mother who became pregnant to her second child with another man.
Since she already knew how difficult it is to raise a child alone, she told her boyfriend that unless he acts like a man, be there for her and her child, and fulfill his responsibilities as a father, she wasn´t going to keep it, she would terminate the pregnancy.
Because the boyfriend faced the prospect of losing both his girlfriend and his child, he agreed to be in a committed relationship with her.
They moved to the same house, he was there for her throughout her pregnancy; he became a doting father when his child arrived, they shared the bills and the responsibilities, and they shared a bed, but not a marriage.
The woman expected that a wedding would follow, after all, they´re already in a committed relationship and they play husband and wife, but although she did get a ring, which she had been wearing for seven years already, there was no sign of wedding soon down the line.
That´s why it´s important that you are clear in yourself on what type of commitment you expect from a man. Because if you´re not, you aren´t likely to get what you want.
If you´re looking for ideas on how to get a man to commit to marriage, read my article, How to Get a Man to Propose.
In this article, let´s focus on how to get a man to commit to you by doing what you want. Whatever it is that you want is up to you.
1. Don´t tell a man everything that you like
If a man is interested on you, he will look for clues by asking you what you like and want from men.
As women, our tendency is to quickly open up by showing him the roadmap to our heart. We tell him everything about what makes us happy—we love chocolates, we love flowers, and we love lavender, a romantic dinner, and a walk at the beach.
Now that he knows how to put a smile on your face, and because he likes you, he will give those exact things that you told him—you´ll get chocolates, you receive bouquets of flowers, you´ll get lavender scents and perfumes, you´ll get taken to romantic dinner dates and out of town for long walks at the beach.
He´ll continue giving and doing all those things that you like until he gets what he wants from you, which is, more often than not, to sleep with you, and to make you fall for him.
Once you´re already head over heels in love, and once he already got what he wants, he´ll stop doing all those sweet romantic things that he used to do.
That does not necessarily mean that he´s out of love, who knows? But since he already received his prizes, he can now relax and be the real guy that he is.
And then you´ll tell your friends, “I don´t understand why he suddenly changed. He used to make me really happy; he used to do everything that I like.”
Well, he did everything that you like because you told him everything that you like.
2. Instead, tell him what you don´t like
A man who´s interested on you will look for clues, give him those clues. Tell him what you don´t want in a man … in a sweet, cute manner.
Remember that men don´t like bossy women, so you want to avoid sounding bossy or a dictator.
For example, if you want to tell him that you don´t like men who show up late you may tell him in a way that gives hint.
You can say “I admire men who do what they say they will do. Because respect and courtesy are important to me, if I agreed to meet up with someone at seven, I show up at seven, if not earlier. And if I will be late or if I can´t make it, I will call ahead of time to give that person a head´s up, as a sign of my courtesy.”
You laid it nicely to him, indirectly telling him that you don´t tolerate men who have no respect for your time.
If you want to tell him that you don´t condone cheating and lying, you may say, “Trust and loyalty are VERY important values for me. I was raised by parents who didn´t approve of cheating and lying, and they inculcated in me the importance of those values.”
“If a man can´t be loyal to me, all he needs to do is inform me and I will make sure that I will not stand in his way to finding his happiness.”
Instead of telling him what you like to do in weekends, you may say, “I actually hate sitting in my house in holidays, I like to go out.”
Now that he knows that you want to go out on holidays, he can be creative to think of what activities he can arrange to take you out.
You are giving him hints and thus, a chance for him to be creative and to lead. But more importantly, you are able to step back and observe the type of person that he is.
When my boyfriend and I were still in a long distance dating relationship, he used to send me plenty of chocolates. He didn´t know that I did not like chocolates or what particular things I like.
But when he accidentally found out that all the sweets he was sending me only made my girlfriends gain weight, he started researching about what I like.
He found an article in the archives of my personal style blog, a post that I wrote about perfect Valentines gifts in my opinion. I was surprised when the Valentine´s Day came and I received a package full of gifts that I actually like.
3. Gain a man´s respect by setting your standards
As I mentioned in my article, The Type of Women that Men Want to Marry, men likes it when their woman has standards and sets those standards clearly.
By letting a man know the things that you don´t like in a cute but clear manner, you are giving him a guide on how to conduct with you.
Every woman is different and each has different standards, some even have no standards, and that´s why men conduct themselves differently on different women.
Men are simple creatures, you tell them something and they will do or follow, depending on how much they like you and how well you delivered those requirements.
They don´t have the ability to guess or play mind games.
On the other hand, by not revealing to a man the roadmap to your happiness, you are able to observe and analyze the type of person that he is. You are able to set the game in your court.
And since you´re in control of the game and of your emotion, you are not vulnerable to his mercy of making you happy. You are not letting him be in control of your happiness.
This will make him appreciate, respect and value you more than anything.
And if he´s truly interested in you, or if he truly loves you, it won´t take long before he commits to you.