If your man knows that he needs you, and if he´s ready, he´ll drop on his knees and propose anytime soon.
This is most probably your goal if you´re in a serious relationship, to get him to propose. And your man knows it too, he knows that you want the ring.
When I found the man of my dreams, and the moment I knew that he´s the one, I couldn´t wait for him to pop the question. While I never initiated a serious talk with him, I subtly gave a hint that I was close to my timeframe of getting married.
Based from my experience, you can actually tell if a man really wants you and couldn´t live without you. Although I didn´t know exactly when my then boyfriend would propose, I found the telltales that I´d be getting the ring soon. Indeed, I did.
But for most women, this has always been a tough question — how to get a man to propose?
1. Don´t push hard.
If a man is ready and he´s self actualized — he´s got a stable job, he´s able to provide and is already sure of himself — and he´s certain that you´re “the One”, he will propose to you anytime soon.
There´s no need for you to push, the ring will come on its own.
But even if he loves you so much, and even if you´re the perfect woman for him, if he hasn´t reached his goals yet especially in the finance department, he´s unlikely to propose to you. At least not yet.
If he isn´t ready and you push him into proposing by setting him to a serious talk or by throwing airy comments sending that message that you´re waiting for him to do so, you might endanger your chance to a great love.
But what if you have a timeline? (Every woman should have a timeline!) Or you are getting closer to your timeline, should you just wait and hope that your not-yet-self-actualized boyfriend will become self-actualized soon and propose soon?
This is tricky. But also important.
Analyze the pros and cons of setting him for a serious talk. Weigh in which result will bring you closer to your relationship goals and act accordingly.
On the other note, some women start to push harder once the guy seems to lost interest. But instead of leading the guy to propose, pushing hard only scares him off.
Did you know that a man who´s in a serious relationship and who suddenly seemed distant and not interested may actually be preparing to commit?
It is said that some men get off when they´re mentally conditioning themselves and getting ready to drop on their knee and pop the question, but if you´re not familiar with the signals and you misread it, then you may sabotage it.
Relationship guru Carlos Cavallo covers this very thing in his course, The Secret Password to His Heart. If you want to know what the signs are, this can be helpful.
On a really brighter note, there´s no fit-all-rule in making a man to propose. If deep down your core you know that you have the guts to propose to your boyfriend, you may get empowered by Matthew Mcconaughey´s mom.
Matthew has said that one day, as his father visited his girlfriend (Mcconaughey´s mom), she opened the door for him. Before he could get inside, she handed him the invitation to their wedding. She said to him, “I am making the short cut here. Let me know your answer in 24 hours.” And we know what his answer was.
2. Don´t kill the chase.
I and my husband dated for a year (a long distance dating) before he popped the question. There were many factors that led me to snatch the heart of my wonderful, loving man, but I believe that one reason that I got engaged within just a year of dating was that I didn´t kill the chase.
Even if we were already in a serious relationship, I still didn´t kill the chase.
I remember him getting upset because he´d been online for two hours waiting for me to come online for a chat, and when he called me in my mobile phone it was off.
But he couldn´t blame me because we didn´t have a fix schedule to chat that day and I was out with my friends. I didn´t just sit in my room waiting for him to call me or chat with me. I still had a life!
I showed my then boyfriend that he was important to me, in many different loving ways, but at the same time myself is important to me too. I kept myself busy during the week and I went out with friends in weekends. My world didn´t just evolve around him.
In that set up, he was the one chasing. It effectively shortened the waiting period. I got the ring in a year and we got married a year after.
3. Let him know of your timeframe
When I and my then boyfriend were still dating, I made my timeframe known to him. I was twenty five when we met and he was thirty. He knew that I was set to get married when I´m twenty seven.
I didn´t require him to marry me but he knew that in case he was still not ready, I wouldn´t sit around waiting for him until he gets ready nor would I spend AGES waiting for him to figure out if I´m really the One. I was no wait-y Katie and it didn´t matter if I wouldn´t get to snatch the prince.
If you have a timeline, some requirements, and some standards, a man will respect you for that.
4. Stop proving him you´re the one.
The best way to make him propose is to show him that you are a high value woman.
But there are many women who take things too far. They are obsessed with proving him that they´re the One. You would hear these women say, “I´m not like the other women he dated, I´d do everything for him.”
But that´s actually the problem, they´d do everything for him.
How do these women prove that they´re the One? By doing all the things for him — support him emotionally, being loyal to him, working it out in the bedroom, and telling him often how much they love him. Or maybe by moving in with him. Or better yet, by having his babies.
He should already propose now, right? They´ve already proven how much they could do and give for him.
But if that´s the way to get a man to propose, then there shouldn´t be many unmarried single mothers these days. (Disclaimer: I`m not judging single moms.)
In some cases, even if the woman did get him to propose, it´s taking ages for them to actually make it to the altar.
Why should a man buy a car if he could test drive it all the time? Why should he buy it if he could rent it for less? He doesn´t have to pay for the insurances and taxes for that car, and he doesn´t have to worry for its maintenance. It works the same in a relationship.
The more you give everything to a man, and the more you prove him that you´re the one, the longer you´d get him to propose.
The key is loving yourself. Don´t give away your body for free, don´t bear him kids if you´re not his wife. (Unless of course, if it´s your personal choice to have kids without having to marry the man.)
The amount of time, love and care that you will give him should be proportionate to how much he is giving you.
5. If you´ve already given everything, require him to set the date.
If you´ve already done all the things I mentioned in #4, if you´ve already played a devoted wife even if you don´t share his surname, are you going to just sit, wait, and hope that he´d finally pop the question?
I know that in my article, Women Should Not Initiate That Serious Talk with Him (especially while still in the getting-to-know-phase), I strongly suggested that you should not urge him to a serious talk early in a relationship.
But what if you´ve already been playing house for quite a while now and are still not making an official home together, should you take the initiative to make him propose?
*** If you want to get a man´s attention and make him pursue you, learn how to conquer love by playing hard to get. ***
Yes, you should!
Give him an ultimatum. Tell him how much you adore him and how much you love to spend the rest of your life with him, but that marriage is important to you and if he truly loves you, he should make things official by marrying you.
A man who loves you with all his heart is afraid to lose you because he can´t live without you.
Most men who gets to play house with his girlfriend don´t propose simply because she didn´t set the requirements. She agreed to play house with him without requiring him to marry her. If she does ask about marriage, he can get away with, “We´ll get there when we´ll get there.”
But a man who truly loves you, even if he doesn´t have the balls to propose to you, will be threatened once you give him the ultimatum. So go ahead, marriage-rape him. You deserve marriage!
However, if this ultimatum pushes him away and he does not propose, then that clearly tells you that he does not love you enough.
Sure that will hurt a lot, but it´s better to know the real deal early while you still have time to walk away and find the true love of your life.
Put yourself first, get where you want to be, and let your man be the man that he should be. ~ Steve Harvey