I used to ask how to make him notice me. Finally I figured it out. If you wonder how to get a guy to notice you, there are four things you can do.
During my high school and university days, the question of how to make the guy that I had a crush on notice me was always a puzzle. I experimented on different tactics, some worked and some didn´t.
Many years later, I was in my early twenties, when I finally figured how to make him notice me. But before I figured it out, the process was a whole lot of adventure.
During my first two years in high school, I was very shy towards boys. It was odd because you couldn´t even tell that I was shy. I put on a tough face to camouflage it.
I always had a crush on the brightest boy in our class. In order to make him notice me, I worked hard in my studies and strived to be at the top. I thought that if I performed really well in school, he´d notice me. Indeed, he did!
In fact, all the boys noticed me. I was the girl who topped the English class, who did very well in Maths, who always won the declamation and oratorical contests, and the only girl who was always assigned to lead the group of boys for chemistry and physics laboratory experiments. The boys surely noticed me because they had to follow my orders.
But came the prom and homecoming, the guy that I had a crush on never asked me to be his partner. To make matters worse, none of the boys asked me to be their partner. At one point I took all the courage I had to approach the guy I liked and asked him to be my partner for our class´ dance presentation. But he declined with a polite alibi.
I went to university and I was still the same hard-working, over-achieving girl. I knew that simply aiming to be at the top wasn´t working in making guys notice me, at least not in the way that I wanted to be noticed.
I was no longer a timid, shy girl. I learned to make friends with the boys and to be comfortable in their company. I was no longer intimidated by their presence like I used to be in high school.
But I had a very odd way of making a guy notice me. I didn´t smile on the guy I liked and didn´t act friendly towards him. I would intentionally ignore him due to my fear that if I would be friendly to him, he´d find out that I like him. I was hoping that he would notice me without having to give signals.
If you want to get a man´s attention and make him pursue you, learn how to conquer love by playing hard to get.
Of course this tactic never worked. There was this guy whom I liked and whom I knew also liked me, but he never approached me. I didn´t know how to break free of my facade. I didn´t know how to encourage him to come closer even if all it took was as simple as smile at him.
But if you´ll ask me now how to get a guy to notice you, here are the things I would recommend, the things I learned from my dating journey.
1. Improve Your Looks
It´s one thing we can´t change about men, they are visuals. Sure they say real beauty lies within, but in most cases, unless he notices you through your looks, he won´t discover your inner beauty.
It doesn´t mean that you´ll have to undergo plastic surgeries in order to look your best. You simply have to make the most of what you already have.
Take a good look at yourself. Focus on your assets. Maybe you have to flaunt them more. Do you have great legs? Flaunt them.
(The most elegant skirt length is knee-length. One to two inches above or below the knee. But if you got the legs, go ahead and flaunt more.)
Maybe you need to work more on your grooming? Learn how to dress your body type. Or maybe you need to exercise more to tone your arms and legs, to maintain a healthy weight and to stay fit?
But beware, you want to look good not only because you want to get a guy´s attention but because you want to take care of yourself. Never forget to pamper yourself. After all, if you take care of yourself, you will feel loved. And if you love yourself, it will reflect on your aura.
The idea is to look your best. But if looking your best doesn´t work, don´t take it against you. Remember that men have different taste. What´s beautiful to one may be different to another.
2. Be genuinely confident
Acting as if you´re confident and being genuinely confident are two different things. I used to project confidence when I was younger but deep down I wasn´t confident in my skin. I didn´t know that I was beautiful. I always thought that I was not pretty enough to attract men, or that I was too thin to be pretty.
Not until I learned to accept myself, to see the beauty that God has made me, and to embrace both my assets and deficits, that I became truly confident. The moment I became confident in my skin, I became confident and comfortable in dealing with men.
3. Be happy
I used to buy the idea that men are intimidated by strong women. All the time I never had a guy ask me out for a date. I attributed it to me being an over-achieving chic. How wrong!
Fortunately it wasn´t too late for me to figure that what actually scared men away was my face which always looked serious and unhappy, if not snob.
Slowly I learned to smile and be happy from within. I learned how to be happy alone. The vibrance of happiness must have reflected in my looks that shortly thereafter, men started coming, even simultaneously at a time, pursuing me.
Certainly, men are attracted to happy women. It probably means “a happy woman is no drama queen”.
4. Learn to Flirt.
Growing up my parents inculcated in me that flirting is a VERY bad thing. They made me believe that it´s embarassing if a guy finds out that I´m attracted to him. He´ll make fun of me. Or if I´m really unlucky, he´ll take advantage of me!
So every time I fell for a guy, I tried my best to hide my feelings because letting him know what I felt for him would be such a heinous crime.
When I turned twenty-two and not a single guy ever asked me out, I realized that something must be wrong with me. Not my looks but the way I dealt with men.
Reading a lot of relationship advice from experts I learned that a right dose of flirt is actually a good thing. And it´s fine to send signals to a guy that you like him as long as you don´t chase him. See: 8 Steps to Become a Natural, Elegant Flirt That´s Irresistible to Men
But let´s suppose you like a guy and you want him to notice you, how would you put on your flirt hat without trying too hard? Look at him in the eyes and flash a sexy smile, hold it for two to three seconds, then turn your gaze away, or look down.
If it´s the first time you met him and he comes to talk to you, you can actually get him to call you after your meeting.
Flirting with a guy sends the message that you´re interested, but the key is pulling away once you´re sure that your message is delivered. Pulling away gives him the chance to move forward and chase you. Keep him in your radar, maintain the message that you´re interested but that you have enough self-respect not to chase after him.
Did you know that there´s a formula to make a man feel that special desire for you? Make Him Desire You.
He will surely get to notice you once he gets the message that you´re interested with him and that it´s okay to approach you. He will find you attractive once he figures that you know how to handle men.
So when it comes to how to get a guy to notice you, it´s all about investing on your own happiness, taking good care of yourself, and learning how to subtly send the message that you´re interested without being needy.