Even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. You should know how to tell if your ex really want you back.
Before I met my husband in a social networking site, I was in a very complicated relationship. I dated a man with a girlfriend. Our relationship was pretty much accidental. Of all people, I never thought I´d ever fall for him because I was very much aware that he´s in a committed relationship; plus he wasn´t my type, so I thought.
Although we´ve been colleagues for a while, we weren´t friends. We simply didn´t talk with each other. We kind of had negative impressions towards each other.
But for whatever reasons, we ended up in a jungle for a three-night work-related camp activity. We were the only two young people in the group of participants so we naturally got stuck in each other´s company.
Things started there. The guy felt attracted to me when he got to see my real side, and he pursued me … hard. He left his girlfriend for me.
Although I see it as crazy right now, I was thinking differently during the time. I was already smitten by him that I accepted his offer to become his girlfriend.
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But mind you, even before we became a couple, during the courting process, both of our morals were questioning our actions. We decided to stay apart only to miss each other terribly, and then come back into each other´s arms.
Yet even when we were already an item, his ex-girlfriend didn´t vanish, she stayed around and tried her best to get him back.
At one point I became tired of his ex-girlfriend´s presence that I broke up with him. When we broke up, she took it as an oppurtunity to make the guy fall for her once again.
While I convinced myself that I did the right move, my heart just couldn´t let go, I eventually wanted to get him back. And so it became a tug of war.
I gave it a fight and it seemed that I´d win, but the ex-girlfriend resolved to emotional blackmail tactic. She threatened the guy that she would commit suicide if he doesn´t marry her.
You see, they were engaged before the guy left her for me. The emotional blackmail she used, even if pathetic, was effective. She was able to get the guy´s attention, he was worried that her family would blame him should she kill herself.
The entire drama took its toll on me that I threw up my hands and let him go, for good. Afterall, I was the third party and she had more to lose than I.
Why am I telling you this? Because when it comes to getting your ex back, I´ve been there, done that, and won it at some point.
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So how do you get your ex back? Most of the time getting your ex back isn´t a good idea. You called it quits for a significant reason and you both should uphold it.
But ironically, more often than not, you miss your ex so much that you want to get him or her back.
This is especially true of you´ve been together for a year or more. However, before you decide to get your ex back, you should be sure that the feeling is mutual. At least, a bit.
The process is trying and you risk breaking your heart the second time, so at least you should know that you have a chance of success. Here´s how to tell if your ex really want you back.
1. Your ex is showing you a little bit of interest.
If you can see that your ex still has interest on you even just a little bit, your chance of getting him/her back is higher than zero. That´s a good sign.
You don´t want to look pathetic chasing an ex who totally don´t want to see you, who avoids you, and who doesn´t even act nice in front of you.
But how can you tell that he´s still got that interest? How can you tell that he´s not only being polite?
2. Your ex is willing to go out and spend time with you.
An ex who´s totally over you won´t waste time hanging out with you. He would be busy focusing his time on someone or something else. But be very careful in reading the codes, don´t be mislead by this sign.
Take a look at the frequency, is your ex more interested in going out and spending time with you than before? This should give you hope but be wary of jumping the gun.
3. Your ex is showing interest after you played hard to get?
Playing hard to get is an art that we need to master in the dating game and this is especially true for women.
Being hard to get is a master tactic women can use to conquer a man´s heart, but it should be used in moderation.
If your ex showed more interest towards you after you played the game, then he or she is likely to still want to get back with you.
If you want him to love you, learn how to capture his heart and love you forever.
4. The interest that your ex is showing you isn´t just a game.
Some exes act like they´re still interested and are willing to give it another try but only to disappoint you big in the end.
These exes are the ones who have serious ill feelings towards you and want to do revenge. A good rule of the thumb in identifying if whether or not the interest that your ex is showing you is real is by looking at the way you two ended things up.
Was it amicable? Was it not degrading in any means? Does your ex have any reason to get back to you?
These four things should be able to give you a hint if getting your ex back is actually worth a try.
You need to be realistic, you don´t want to give yourself false hopes because at the end, you´re the one who will get hurt the most. You don´t want to play as his past time while he doesn´t have any prospects at the moment. You deserve better.
Playing hard to get while giving a subtle sign that you´re still interested with your ex is the first move to getting your ex back.