Do you really need to give in to sex in order to keep a guy? This article will tell you that you need NOT.
Everyone tells you not to have sex on the first date. Many would tell you not to have sex even on the second date. So the question is—when should you have sex after meeting a man?
The answer to this question is relative to one´s personal values and self-respect. Many young women succumb to society´s modern culture which makes sex available and easy to attain. There are only 2% of women who keeps the old culture of saving sex for the wedding night.
Teenagers struggle with peer pressure, “everyone´s having sex so why wouldn´t you?”
Young adult women feel the need to give in to sex early in order to attract and keep a man. This mentality is all about pleasing the man.
Single moms and women who are separated or divorced are expected by men to agree to sex on the first or second date because they´re already, well, experienced.
But does it really work? Does giving in to sex solidify your bond with men? Where does it leave you after the act?
Make him commit and surrender his heart to you, learn how to be “the woman men adore and never want to leave”.
Many relationship book authors suggest to wait two or three months before you have sex with him and only after you´ve proven that he´s your knight in shining armor. Others suggest to wait until you´re already in a committed relationship before you say “yes” to sex.
But if you ask me, I´d advise to save sex for marriage. It doesn´t matter if you´re a virgin or not, you always have to right to save yourself for the wedding night. It´s going to be frought with challenges but the result is so worth it. A man who loves you for who you are and not for how well you do in bed will appreciate the wait and will value you more.
According to the book, have him at hello, where Rachel Green wald interviewed 1000 men to know what makes them fall in love or never call back, there are two things that men label you after you spread your legs for them.
1. The sl*t. Men will pursue you and do everything in order to get you laid. It´s no brainer, they love sex. They´d want to have sex with you. And they´d do anthing it takes to get inside your skirt. But right after they get it, they feel disgust. “They think you´re a sl*t.”
So if you ever experienced having sex with a lovely man and then right after you had physical contact with him he acted aloof, that´s basically what he´s got in his mind.
2. The sports fish. In my article The type of woman that men wants to marry, I discussed the two types of women that men are hunting for when they´re fishing. Most of the time when they throw their nets on the sea, they catch the sports fish. They´d touch them, hold and examine them, then throw them back to the sea.
You can expect that a man who´s now ready to settle down has already done a lot of sports fishing for a long time. So once he decides to look for a woman to marry, he´s no longer interested in throwback women.
If he takes you to a first date, then hopefully to a second date, and to a third, and then bang! The flag is down! He´ll lost interest because he´d think you belong to the sports fish category. He´s no longer interested in sports fishing, he´s looking for something meaningful. But how can he find out if you´re worth getting to know more if you give him an impression that you´re a sports fish?
3. The Needy. One of the reasons why men pull away in early stages of dating is different expectations about having sex. Many women offer their body to the man they date as an expression of love. But to most men, sex is just that — sex. This is especially true if the intercourse happened before they fell in love with the woman.
After having sex, women find themselves getting attached to the man they had sex with. This happens involuntarily. There are chemicals in a woman´s brain that are released while having sex with her partner which cause her to fall in love with him.
Once she feels attached to him, she will feel disappointed if she finds out that the man she´s dating with does not feel the same towards her, at least not yet. This leads to her acting desperate or needy.
But desperation and neediness disrupts that natural flow of dating and courtship. More often than not, men end up pulling away.
So that´s about a little peeking in a man´s mind. Of course, it´s not the absolute truth, some men still adore their woman even after they had physical contact, but it´s nice to know that a man who is ready to love and marry you does not expect you to actually give your body.
4. God´s original plan.
But what is the most important reason why you should delay sex after meeting a man and saving it for the wedding night?
Ephesians 5:5 “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.”
Well, that is God´s commandment for us—to keep our body pure and holy, and for us to abstain from the passion of lust. Sex, or making love, is a gift that God designed for marriage.