You may be aware of it, or you may not, but if you have issues with self-esteem and self-confidence, chances are you are driving men away.
Low self-esteem and low self-confidence are detrimental to your happiness. Unless you have a healthy self-esteem, you are unlikely to enjoy healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Do you crave for a relationship in order to be happy? If you´re NOT already happy with yourself and who are, and you haven´t accepted the entirety of your being — the good and the not-so-good — no man can ever make you happy.
Men know this … they know how much work it takes to help you develop good self-esteem and self-confidence — they´re not keen on taking the job — that´s why quality men will avoid you the moment they smelled your issues. And if they´re players, they will avoid you after they enjoyed you.
Here are three certain ways your low self-esteem and low self-confidence are driving men away.
1. You Don´t Think You´re Worthy
I saw a documentary of two Dutch twins who struggled with anorexia. During a pre-therapy interview, one of the twins was asked if being in a relationship and getting married is one of her goals. She replied, “No, I don´t think I´m worthy.”
The therapist was astonished with how low her client´s self-esteem was! She doesn´t even allow herself to fantasize about being with a man, much more getting married.
The problem with the belief that you aren´t worthy is self-sabotage. It doesn´t matter if men show their interest on you, take you to a date and pursue you, you will find ways to sabotage your chance for love because at the back of your head you think, “Eventually he´ll realize that I´m not worthy of his love and he´ll dump me.”
2. You Don´t See Your Best Qualities
When I was in my early twenties, I used to introduce myself to a new guy this way, “I´m not much to look at, but I´m hard-working and independent.”
Of which the guy would reply, “You don´t look bad. In fact, you´re pretty. Don´t be too hard on yourself.”
And I´d be flattered, “Yay, he finds me pretty!” But then after that exchange I´ll never hear from him again. Miserable me thinks, “He lied.”
“I´m ugly!”
Yet, the guy didn´t lose interest because I`m ugly, but because I wasn´t confident with myself. Men are attracted to confident women.
A dose of confidence is like magnet, it magnetizes men towards you. But these same men don´t wanna play psychiatrist. They don´t want to pump praises on you in order to power your self-confidence. For them, there´s just too much drama involve.
3. You Think No One Else Will Ever Love You
You tolerate bad behaviors because you can´t afford to lose him. You stay in an unhealthy dating relationship because you think, never will you ever find another man as wonderful as him.
If you have low self-esteem, you are willing to bend backward and forward to please him. You will reach for the moon and the stars just to make him happy. You will do EVERYTHING to show him how much you love him, only to get crushed because after all that you´ve done for him, he still left you.
Do you know what he thinks of you? That you´re a needy woman with mental imbalance.
This is the biggest problem with low self-esteem. Because of your little self-worth you think it´s okay for him to act ungentlemanly towards you. It´s okay for him to disrespect you. It´s okay for him not to prioritize you. After all, you also don´t prioritize your heart, do you?
And after these men left you, you beat yourself up for being stupid, ugly, fat, not worthy, not doing enough, not being beautiful enough, not good enough, and many more negativity that you can feed your mind.
If you recognize this in you, it´s time to work on improving your self-esteem and self-confidence. I´ve been there, done that, and I say with certainty, you can overcome it.
