Men are wired to adore your femininity. Don´t stop being a girl.
In this modern era, we women are taught to be tough, to kicka** and compete in the working world. It took us so-ooo long to fight for equality, to have our rights, skills and intelligence recognized, and (while modern feminists still tirelessly fight for it ´till these days) to be paid as much as men.
But as this modern time allows us to be the confident, independent women that we are, there is something that we should never lose — our femininity.
You may be a top executive, a CEO, a well-accomplished career woman making crucial decisions and managing a large team, or a full-time bread-winner, but outside your workworld you must not forget to let your feminine side shine.
You must learn to turn off your tough masculine persona when the moment calls for you to operate from your zone of feminine.
Femininity is crucial in attracting men, and it is equally crucial in keeping a successful relationship.
God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met. ~ Farrah Fawcett
What is Femininity?
Femininity is the soft, sometime vulnerable side of you. It is the girl who needs a man to open the car door for her, to pull a chair in a restaurant for her, to keep her warm when she feels cold, the soft girl-y lady who, while she´s confident, independent and high-achieving, knows that she has needs only a man could give.
Feminity is that something in a woman which makes a man feel masculine.
Femininity is about embracing my softness and my vulnerability and seeing those not as a weakness but as biggest strength. ~ Liz Arch
Femininity is power.
When You Don´t Know How to Top Your Femininity
In high school, we had a Home Economics class which gardening was one of the requirements. Each of us was given a 10 m. rectangular garden to clean up and maintain. The area was adjacent to the forest just at the back of our campus, so you can imagine how dry and bushy it was.
I remember how I envied some girls in my class who had our boys help them clear their gardens. Those young men, with their strong muscled arms, cleared the bushes and tilled the soil so quickly and easily using their tools.
Whereas me, with my frail hand and thin arms, I could hardly work a few square feet in half an hour (our gardening time).
But I was shy and didn´t know how to show (or ask) the boys that I too needed their help. I ended up spending my weekends slowly tilling my garden.
In university, I had some close male friends who used to scold me because I wouldn´t seek their help when doing/completing dangerous + difficult tasks.
For instance, when we hiked some isolated wild mountains in the Philippines to conduct research on a community of native people who live in the wild for our Anthropology class, where we camped for a few nights, I would fetch water from an underground river in the evening all by myself.
My male buddy had to assure me for several times that he was there to help and protect me, I shouldn´t do everything on my own.
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It took me long to give up the entirely independent woman in me and to learn to let a guy take care of me. But it was not an easy task for someone who was used to taking care of everyone with no one to take are of her, or spoil her.
But when I did learn to be feminine around men, it was then when I understood that men love it when they feel needed.
How to Be Feminine
Matthew Hussey, in his book Get the Guy, said that in spite of “the shift in roles between men and women, one thing remains true, the fundamental thing that attracts men to women is femininity.
So how do you embrace your femininity?
1. Make a man feel that he provides you something you can´t live without.
It does not have to be true in a literal sense but it´s something like making a man go to bed at night thinking, “Ah, but for me, she would have no one to change the oil in her car.”
Of course, in the real sense, if your boyfriend wasn´t there you could easily call a service company to change your oil. But it´s a matter of how you show your appreciation to him and for letting him know how he made your life so much easier and happier.
A word of caution: don´t confuse this tip with being desperate and needy. Desperation and neediness are fueled by insecurity, not femininity.
*** If you want him to love you, learn how to capture his heart and love you forever. ***
Once you master the art of being feminine, not only will you attract the kind of man that you hope to love, you will also get to keep him in a happy, committed relationship. This is my one best secret why my husband is still head over heels in love with me, and still totally attracted to me after having a kid and being almost 11 years together.
Whenever he does something nice to me — whether it´s to clean the restroom, cook a delicious dinner, take care of our baby, apply a smelly fenugreek seed paste on my hair, or give me multiple big Os — I plant a loving kiss on his lips, hug him tight and thank him for being my hero, my awesone chef, or my fantastic lover. Without fail, his chivalric spirit beams with pride.
2. Make a man know that you need him.
The easiest way to emasculate a man is to make him feel dumb and useless. If he feels that he doesn´t provide you anything, it breaks his ego. And a broken ego is difficult to fix.
Case in point. My cousin recently left his wife and teenage kids for a mistress. He´s a wonderful husband and father, a great provider, and he treated his wife like a princess — all the time.
Yet his wife did nothing but ridicule and disrespect him; she made him feel useless and dumb. A mechanic, he supported her financially until she completed her teaching degree.
When she graduated and started working as a teacher, she did everything to make her husband feel low class and uneducated.
My cousin´s ego was ruined beyond repair. And when he found a woman who cared for him and who made him feel like he´s her hero, he willingly left his wife for her.
Even if you´re the one who puts dough on the table, there are many ways in which your man can contribute. Recognize whatever it is that he brings to your relationship.
3. Let a man take care of you.
When you´re on a date and you´re strolling along, the breeze picks up and it seems that the temperature is dropping, and the guy offers his jacket but you´re not cold and you enjoy the breeze on your arms, which of the following will you do?
A. Take the jacket.
B. Not take the jacket and say, “I´m fine, thanks. I love the feel of the breeze.”
C. Not take the jacket and say, “I´m a little cold, but you must be too.”
The adventurous and independent woman in you may get tempted to refuse the jacket, but the feminine girl in you will surely take the jacket.
When he offers his jacket, this is your man wanting to serve you, and your femininity will allow him to come to your rescue even if, deep inside, you don´t need to be rescued. This will make him feel like a man.
Being feminine does not mean being weak, it only means never stopping to embrace the girl in you.
4. Own Your Sexual Power.
One common comment that people said about me when I was younger was, “She is not pretty but when she´s walking in the street, she walks with her back straight, her chin up, and with strong sex appeal.”
Now my husband would surely disagree if he heard them because for him, I`m not only pretty but also beautiful (wink).
Yet I understand what those people meant. I certainly was not much to look at, but luckily I was able to realize that I could own my sexual power and be attractive nonetheless. I capitalized on what I´ve got — a slim figure, good proportion and well-shaped legs.
But the thing is, you don´t have to be slim and be model-sexy to exude sex appeal. No matter your size and shape, if you walk, sit, talk and move with confidence, you are sexy. You can draw your confidence from focusing on your assets and learning to accept and love yourself.
I`m extremely comfortable in my sexuality, and I love flirting, and I love wearing heels, and I love looking great. All that´s me. I`m not pretending. That´s who I am 100 percent. Feels good. And I use that to my advantage when I`m at work. I know I may get an interview because someone thinks I`m attractive, like I`m not fucking you but I know I may get an interview because you might think I`m attractive. Men are so simple that way. I`m aware of that. That´s fine. ~ Cari Champion, Sports Center Anchor, ESPN
The way you sit, the way you walk, every movement plays into your sexual power. How can this work to your advantage?
5. Be Glamorous.
I saw a video on Youtube about how to spot a feminist. The video was done by some men who wanted to prove that it´s easy to tell if a woman is a feminist — she usually does not look attractive, her hair colors are weird or half her skull is shaved, she does not shave (her body hair), she does not look put together, or she simply does not look feminine.
Oddly enough, the women they approached and asked if they were feminist said “Yes”.
I`m not here to set war against feminists, nor do I plan to set war against men. I love men (just as much as I love women), but I believe that if you want to be attractive to men or if you want to have a man take care of you, you must take care of your appearance.
If you do your best with what you have, you will surely look attractive to men. That´s femininity. So glam up!
6. Flirt Freely.
To be a flirt is to be both intellectually curious — and intellectual and emotional curiosity can profoundly enrich your experiences of life. – The Feminine Revolution
How often do you flirt? Do you flirt only with men, or do you flirt with anyone and anything — women, children, elderly, things, places, and ideas?
“Many people flirt because they genuinely like people and like cultivating relationships with them and because it naturally feels good to do that”, say Amy Stanton and Catherine Connors.
When you´re flirting, you´re bringing out the best in each other. The purpose of flirting with someone is to spark something in them, something that starts to bring out the best in them, something to get them to turn toward you, and to get them to light up.
If you´re a flirtee, that means you are charming. You are able to attract people towards you through your charm. You are able to explore people, and thus you are able to explore relationships.
If flirting is a skill that you are yet to develop, How to Become a Natural, Elegant Flirt That´s Irresistible to Men.
Remember to be purposeful in your flirtations. If the other person is not feeling it, or if he doesn´t respond to your charm, don´t force it. This is a matter of respect and treating the other person as an equal partner.
A woman who understands the power of her femininity knows that she is high value, that she doesn´t need to be taken care of, but she also knows that permitting a man to take care of her isn´t about her and her power (or lack of it), it´s about him and his masculinity.
A woman who is confident in being feminine and uses it to her advantage is a smart woman. Not only is she attractive to men, but she also commands respect and chivalry from them.