Is finding love something that should just happen? Or do you believe that you should make the search for love a priority in order to find love?
We recently moved to our newly purchased condo. Yoo-hoo! 2017 was a helluva of roller-coaster for us mainly because we spent most part of the year actively scouting for a condo, finding four condos we loved but lost them either because we could not afford it or we weren´t fast enough to snatch it, then finally finding the perfect condo for us, buying it, and moving into it by the end of the year.
It was such a journey. We got disappointed several times, I wept for weeks each time we lost a condo that we wanted, but we didn´t give up, we kept pushing and looking, and when we finally believed we found “the one”, we, especially my husband, fought with all his might to get it for us — all this in spite of how busy he was at work — until we finally won the condo that was perfect for us.
We fell in love with it the first time we saw it, it´s what we needed and could afford, and everything worked for us — God paved the way for us — so that we beat two other serious buyers.
Buying a condo, or a house, means you have to seriously look for “the one” that you want to buy. It doesn’t just happen. It will not come to you. You have to look for it. You have to prioritize it even if you are busy at work. It takes some kind of serious doing.
In many ways finding love is like buying a house. You have to look for it.
If you want to find love, you have to make it your priority.
But this is NOT what we were told.
We grew up being told — from fairy tales, movies and entertainments, and the people around us — that we don´t need to search for love. If it´s meant to be, it will just happen. We were told that finding love is only for desperate people.
Many women believe that love is something you only get if you are fortunate. Love has become like a lottery, only the lucky ones win. See: Why Positive Mentality is Key in Finding True Love
Well, this isn´t true. This isn´t reality.
I`m a walking example to this. I used to think that I was just not lucky — not much to look at, not attractive enough, not desirable enough, not blessed enough to have love in my life.
After all, I never had a boyfriend until I was twenty-five, and no one ever seriously pursued me up until that time.
But everything changed the moment I had a change of perspective. When I decided I had to make finding love a priority in my life, it just attracted love towards me.
My search led me to many, different possibilities I never expected. There were lots of ups and downs, and heartbreaks, but it ended with a bang! It led me to find my soul mate.
Although there are people who found love through serendipity, their number is small. Most of us found love by seriously searching for it. So don´t let the media or the people around you stop you from searching.
Another strong reason why we can´t leave love to luck is that “the social makeup of our environment drastically changes over time. When we are in our teens and early 20s, everyone in our social group is usually around our age and single.
Then in our mid to late 20s, more and more people have paired off. Increasing job and personal responsibilities, and most people have less and less time to socialize.
With friends getting married, having children, and losing interest in the single scene, our social options begin to dry up.”
“By the time we enter our 30s, our social circles have fewer singles, and our opportunities to organically meet people dwindle even further.” ~ Matchmakers Secrets: The Six Predictors of Love
As our age increases, our dating environment changes and we struggle to meet new people. This is why the older we get, the more we must give finding love a higher priority. It should go up first in our list. Otherwise we will have little to no chance to meet good candidates and find love.
Love isn´t something you leave to chance. If deep down you know that you want love, a life partner, and even a family, it´s important that you give yourself the permission to make your search for love a priority.
This isn´t desperate. This isn´t lame. This is about chasing your life´s goals and the future that you want. So go ahead, give yourself an okay signal and put finding love atop your list.